A Tween Girls Guide to Friendships How to Make Friends and Build Healthy Relationships. The Complete Friendship Handboo...

Friendships during the tween years (ages 9-12) can feel like navigating a minefield—exciting, confusing, and sometimes downright overwhelming. Abby Swift’s A Tween Girl’s Guide to Friendships: How to Make Friends and Build Healthy Relationships is a lifeline for young girls struggling with social dynamics, self-confidence, and the ups and downs of growing up.

This isn’t just another dry self-help book; it’s a warm, engaging, and practical guide that speaks directly to tweens in a way that feels like advice from a wise older sister. Whether your child is shy, socially anxious, or just looking to deepen her friendships, this book offers actionable advice, relatable stories, and exercises to build real-life social skills.

If you’re a parent, educator, or a tween yourself looking for a roadmap to better friendships, keep reading—this review will break down everything you need to know.

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Unlike a traditional novel, A Tween Girl’s Guide to Friendships is structured as a handbook, blending advice, real-life scenarios, and interactive exercises. Here’s a quick breakdown of what readers can expect:

• Understanding Friendship Basics – What makes a good friend? How do you recognize toxic relationships?
• Making New Friends – Practical tips for overcoming shyness, starting conversations, and finding like-minded peers.
• Handling Conflict – Strategies for resolving arguments, dealing with gossip, and standing up for yourself.
• Social Media & Friendships – How to navigate online interactions safely and mindfully.
• Boosting Self-Confidence – Exercises to help girls embrace their uniqueness and build self-esteem.

Each chapter is packed with relatable anecdotes (e.g., feeling left out at lunch, dealing with frenemies) and step-by-step guidance that makes the advice feel tangible rather than abstract.

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Since this is a guidebook rather than a novel, the "character" here is really the author’s voice—and Abby Swift nails it. She writes with warmth, humor, and zero condescension, making complex social dynamics easy to grasp.

Her tone is:

• Empathetic – She acknowledges how hard friendships can be without dismissing tween struggles as "just a phase."
• Encouraging – Instead of lecturing, she empowers girls to take small, manageable steps toward better relationships.
• Interactive – With journal prompts, quizzes, and reflection questions, she keeps readers engaged.

This isn’t a book girls will read once and forget—it’s a workbook they can return to whenever they face friendship challenges.

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Swift’s writing is clear, concise, and age-appropriate. She avoids overly complex language while still treating her audience with respect. Key strengths include:

✅ Conversational Tone – Feels like chatting with a trusted mentor.
✅ Real-Life Examples – Stories about school, extracurriculars, and social media make lessons stick.
✅ Visual Appeal – Bullet points, sidebars, and bolded key tips prevent info overload.

Unlike some dry advice books, this one keeps tweens turning pages because it speaks their language.

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Beyond basic friendship tips, Swift tackles deeper issues:

🔹 Self-Worth vs. Popularity – She emphasizes that being liked isn’t the same as being respected.
🔹 Boundaries Matter – How to say no without guilt and spot manipulative behavior.
🔹 Friendships Change—And That’s Okay – Normalizes growing apart and making new connections.

These themes reassure girls that their feelings are valid while giving them tools to handle tough situations.

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As someone who works with tweens (and remembers my own friendship struggles at that age), I wish I’d had this book growing up. Here’s what stood out:

💡 Practicality – The "How to Join a Group Conversation" tip is gold for shy kids.
💡 Inclusivity – Discusses diverse friendships (different interests, cultures, neurotypes).
💡 Emotional Resonance – The chapter on handling rejection is compassionate and uplifting.

I’ve seen similar guides that either talk down to kids or oversimplify, but Swift strikes the perfect balance.

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How does this stack up against other tween friendship guides?

📖 The Girls’ Guide to Friendships by Natalie Costa – More focused on confidence than conflict resolution.
📖 Stand Up for Yourself & Your Friends by Patti Kelley Criswell – Great but less interactive.
📖 Friendship Troubles (American Girl) – Helpful but shorter and less detailed.

Swift’s book is the most comprehensive, blending advice, activities, and emotional support.

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✔ Actionable Steps – Not just theory; girls can apply tips immediately.
✔ Non-Judgmental – Never shames girls for past mistakes.
✔ Parent-Friendly – Great for family discussions.

❌ Could Use More Male Perspectives – Some advice applies to all kids, but title/graphics skew feminine.
❌ Social Media Section Might Date Quickly – Platforms change fast!

Still, these are minor quibbles in an otherwise stellar guide.

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Ideal for:

• Girls ages 9-13 navigating friendship changes.
• Parents/Teachers looking for a resource to discuss healthy relationships.
• Shy or Socially Anxious Kids needing a confidence boost.

Not for:

• Readers seeking a fictional story (it’s purely a guidebook).
• Older teens (content is tailored for tweens).

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"A true friend doesn’t make you feel small to make themselves feel big."

"It’s okay to outgrow a friendship—it doesn’t mean you failed."

"You don’t have to be everyone’s favorite person to be worthy of love."

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A Tween Girl’s Guide to Friendships is the book I’ll be gifting to every tween in my life. It’s practical, kind, and packed with wisdom that can prevent years of social stress. Whether your child is struggling with bullies, loneliness, or just the normal chaos of middle school, this book offers real solutions.

🔗 Get the Book: Amazon

Discussion Questions for Readers:

• What’s the hardest part about making friends as a tween?
• How can parents help without taking over?
• Have you ever had to set a friendship boundary? How did it go?

Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your take!

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